my parenting is not a project

"Ten years into the blitzkrieg of late-life motherhood, I’ve recognized that kids do a pretty good job of growing up by themselves. Thank goodness, because parents like me can make a mess out of the simplest things."

"As parents, we think our job is to create an ideal outcome — a happier child, a smarter child, a more successful child. It’s a silly notion, isn’t it? That we are supposed to shape something presidential out of what looks like seven pounds of putty in our palm. The pressure alone makes us feel as though we’re doomed to fail. But this focus on the future outcome blinds us to the marvel that already appears before us. It’s not putty. Babies aren’t blobs. Do we ever notice, and trust, the wonder of life happening continually and miraculously by itself?"

"When you let yourself off the parenting hook, you might find, as I did, that your purview is far larger. You can get on with the laundry, the kitchen and the yard. You can get on with breakfast, lunch and dinner. You can get on with things as they are, not as you wish, worry or dread. You can get on with your life, as long as you understand my point. As long as you can handle the complete freedom from fear and the release from your own critical judgment. Your life isn’t a project either!
School’s out, and you graduated."

"The point where you think you can’t go on is the very point that a breakthrough occurs. Parenthood is nonstop personal transformation. We can’t figure it out because we can’t figure it out! It’s not Sudoku, you know."

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