"I feel a little bad, sometimes, laughing about something someone meant sincerely, but it does amaze me, STUN me, that so many people can think something, and verbalize it, and write it down and send it to a thousand strangers without seeing how unreasonable it really is. And how mean, and judgmental of their children (or themselves). How harsh. How unbending. How much they're just parroting someone else in their past who was harsh and mean and unbending, and they don't even hear themselves (or read themselves) parroting.
But they do it all the time. How many millions of times more than on my puny little collection have parents said those things to and about their kids as though saying it made it true?
But just hearing what we say can change us.
Hearing the negativity and the implied threat and the explicit insults can help us become softer, and more flexible and more thoughtful and original.
Speaking or writing without thinking is a little like driving a car with a blindfold. Others get hurt, we get hurt, the car gets wrecked.
Speaking or writing without thinking is like operating a relationship with a blindfold, with ear plugs, going "LA LA LA LA, I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO MYSELF!!" all the whole time.
How can one see her own child directly without hushing, pulling out the earplugs, and looking at him?"